my 10-day fast

for the past 10-days, i have had nothing but water, tea and 1/2 a fruit and veggie smoothie every other day as i have been fasting and praying for wyatt. yes. me. i ate no food for 10 days! me, who can't go for 30 minutes past lunch time without whining and complaining. seriously, God could not have shown me more clearly how much stronger he is in me than i am on my own!

i have recently been convicted to fast once a week for prayer over my family. i chose tuesdays because that is the day when we have the least commitments. i spent my first tuesday fasting and on wednesday, my brother brad posted a request to have all of wyatt's prayer warriors to join him in fasting for the 10 days between ford's and wyatt's birthdays.

10 days. of course i had a million reasons why it wasn't a good idea. what if i got dizzy while with the kids? would i be safe to drive a car? what would my fast look like? could i go with only water? would i give up? but i just kept thinking that this is what my brother wants. this is one of the only things i can do to help them. and they have endured WAY more than the inconvenience of being hungry for 10 days. i can do this.

but what i quickly learned was that "i" wasn't doing this, God was. over the 10 days, i made my family 3 meals and 2 snacks everyday (some of them were my favorite meals due to some poor meal planning on my part when i wasn't paying attention to when the fast would be starting) and i never tasted a thing. not only did i not eat anything, but i wasn't really hungry! i did have some smoothie every other day or so to help with my dizziness in the morning. i would have been fine if i could have moved slower, but that isn't really an option when you have active kids! my stomach only growled twice and it was on the last two days. i think day 9 was the hardest one for me. but it was in my mind giving in and not my body although i was getting a little weaker by the last few days - like matt didn't let me drive any more (although i really was fine).

it was a very emotional 10-days for me but what a blessing to be focused on prayer. God sustained me. i seriously did not think that it was even possible. it flew by too! i am committed to weekly fasting. oddly, by denying myself food for 10-days, i have been freed from my dependance on food. i spend a lot of my time, planning, purchasing and preparing food - it just goes with being at home all day and responsible for feeding my family. but i was always thinking of the next meal (what will it be? when will be eat? when will i start? in what order will i do each part?). i think that fasting each week will keep me focused on my priorities and less distracted by the day-to-day (meals, cleaning, etc.).

if you have never fasted, try it. skip lunch one day each week. you might be really surprised by what it does for you mentally. love.

walk for wyatt

today was the "walk for wyatt" in cape coral. some friends organized a walk to pray for wyatt and his family and to celebrate all of the ways God has blessed them so far in wyatt's healing. we weren't able to actually be there but we dressed in turquoise like everyone at the walk was asked to do and prayed for wyatt. there are so many who are loving and supporting wyatt and his family - over 100 people came out for the walk. these are the times when "thank you" just isn't enough to express the gratitude.

florida!

today was the day. the day i finally got to hug brad and abby and see wyatt for the first time since his accident. it was such an emotional day. i had been preparing myself to see brad for the first time (and wyatt and abby), but i was not prepared for how much seeing abby was going to effect me more than seeing brad. i should have, but i just didn't. hers was the first heart i thought of when i heard the news and began praying for her specifically. i don't know why i wasn't prepared. she was the one we saw first. we went to their house to drop off the kids with grandma and big pop so that matt and i could go to the hospital and see brad and wyatt. there were hardly any words, abby and i just sobbed. there is no talking about wyatt at the house (not that his name isn't spoken, they are just trying to keep the house 'normal' for the kids) and we had a silent hugging sob in the kitchen for just moments before going back to being moms. 

the ride to the hospital was spent trying to pull myself together (i was still anticipating seeing brad and wyatt being more emotional). i couldn't listen to the radio, i couldn't pray, i couldn't think without crying. i was just trying to pull it together. thankfully, i wasn't a mess when i saw brad and wyatt. i did cry at first, mainly with the relief of just being there. and brad scolded me for making him cry (jokingly). i can't even express how nice it was to just be there. matt gave me the best gift in driving us all there.

this is the only time my dad will see the kids this summer and he hasn't seen them since we were down last july; he just can't leave work the way my mom can. they were going to come visit us this summer but between the baby in july and helping brad's family, it just isn't going to happen this year. and that is okay. more than okay. we just are savoring every minute of this visit.

when we got back to the house, the cousins were having a blast! big pop had a new 'pair of shoes,' madelyn and annabell were rehearsing for a performance and the rest of the boys were playing super heroes. it was loud! we took off after a quick dinner.

another night in a hotel with four kids. tonight we convinced them to all sleep in one bed so that matt and i could have a decent night's sleep. they were too cute all together. madelyn was working on her school work (her teacher forgot to send work home with her last friday so i made up assignments and emailed them to her teacher who agreed that they would work) and the boys were playing on the ipad (anything to keep manning from pushing every button in the room!).

this day was wonderful and painful, but mostly relieving. it has been so hard to rely on others to keep me up to date and being so far away from people i love who are hurting. there aren't words for the gratitude i feel towards matt and the emotion of being here. love.

care package

since we weren't going to be able to get down right away, we put together a little care package for the "cousins." madelyn, mason and maddux came up with the idea for a handprint bouquet and worked on it for about three days. we also included some games, notepad, pens, snacks and small items. madelyn took it upon herself to make each member of their family a card. she was up so late getting them done, but i thought that they were some of her best drawings so i had to take a few pictures. now that they have the package, i can share. love.

where to start...?

i have been thinking about this post for a while because i thought writing might be therapeutic. i have been writing a lot this week. mainly facts, because that has been what is needed from me. but as i sit here trying to write the words just aren't coming the way i want them to...

tuesday, april 22nd at 6:24pm i got THE call (after missing attempts for the past hour while my phone was on vibrate). the one you never want to receive. it was my brother josh who was crying. my first thought was that it was about one of my parents. i had screaming kids all around me so i had to peel them off and lock myself in my room to be able to hear him. wyatt. pool. not going to make it. my legs literally gave out. wyatt was found by my other brother, his dad, in their swimming pool. it was a tragic accident.

i think i was in shock from that moment until yesterday morning when i seem to have regained some sense of presence. my body may have been here cleaning up vomit and listening to endless crying of a chorus of sick boys, but my heart, mind and soul were, and are, in gainesville with my family. even looking at manning was difficult to do without crying - he is only 4 months older than his cousin. and as i researched everything looking for optimism, i spent a sleepless night pleading with God to "help me overcome my unbelief!" (mark 9:24). i have just been fighting my rational and practical side - my faith is stronger. my God is stronger.

i have also been praying to have peace with my selfish need to be there with them. it just happened that my driver's license expired on my birthday and i got a notice the friday before "the call". i was actually going to renew it that morning but didn't want to risk the boys throwing up in a public place and put it off. between the license and the germs i couldn't, and was asked not to, come. but my heart longs to hug my little brother. but it is for me, so i am trying to accept that i have to be selfless and stay where i am and wait. i have been trying to help with communication to the rest of the extended family and even within my own family. i know that brad and abby have so much love and support with them that they don't really need me the way that i need to be with them. we are going soon, but i must have patience.

this is wyatt from the last time we were in florida and i got to hold him, almost a year ago.

and here is the last picture sent to me by his mommy - from around january.

wyatt was dead and he is alive. my emotions are still so raw and i am having trouble finding my words. i find that i am having trouble forming complete thoughts or answering simple questions. but i have not once asked "why?" my eyes are firmly on Jesus and His ability to heal wyatt to complete health.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." john 16:33

all the scriptures i have read and been changed by over my lifetime are flooding to me as a comfort. my heart is breaking over and over each day but my hope has not been lost and my faith has not wavered. 

wyatt is fighting, he is baffling his doctors. they look at his case and expect one thing and then examine him and find the impossible. we are so encouraged by the miracles God is doing in this middle of this storm. and the testimonies of others have been so encouraging! my mom equates it to peter walking on the water, he started to sink when he looked back at the boat and took his eyes off of Jesus. she said that she has realized through this that if someone else had gotten out and walked with him, he might not have lost faith. she feels like the thousands of people praying and believing for a complete healing for wyatt have stepped out of the boat and are helping us to keep walking on the water in faith.

if you are touched by the miracle happening right now, you can follow wyatt's story at http://shift-church.com/wyattupdate/ and share prayers, scriptures and words of encouragement for the family on facebook by posting to the Zachritz Family Prayer Group.  there has also been a fund created to collect resources for the inevitable hospital bills they will be facing; here is the link if you feel inclined to donate: https://shift-church.ccbchurch.com/trx_submit.php?type=public_gift (designate "Zachritz Family" to give to them specifically).

God is good, He is good. all the time He is good. love.

boys writing

since my one-year-old nephew can't read yet, i thought it was safe to post these pictures of his birthday cards to show the big boys' writing.

maddux wrote "wyatt" all on his own with me spelling and describing the letters

mason wrote "i love you" (with me spelling) and "mason" with some hearts; maddux wrote his own name with a little help spelling from me (he skips the second "d" which is how we ended up with an extra 'letter' in the middle)

i am happy with how they are coming along.  love.