watch out, dad, i am coming for your salsa!

life marches on

this is one of those rare times when i think the boys being mildly sick has been a blessing. i don't think i could have gotten through the past week if they had been energetic and healthy. they have all had diarrhea and/or vomiting that has left them tired and weaker than normal. but not dramatically so. they only get sick once every 24-hours and it has been manageable.

in fact, on wednesday morning, when i was at my worst, manning slept for almost 24-hours. i would never have been able to communicate with the extended family if he had been his normal self.

pretending to 'sleep' at breakfast before laying down and actually going right back to sleep after a 11 hour night

this is how he spent most of the day. i did keep an eye on him and was praying that we wouldn't have to take him to the hospital too!

this same day madelyn had 'costume day' at school and dressed up as minnie mouse (i failed to even think about a picture of how cute and happy she was). that night she had a graduation ceremony from the program she is in at church. i thought that it would be hard to talk to those who already knew about wyatt and were praying, but it was the praise and worship songs that just opened the floodgates! i couldn't even sing. i had not been prepared for that kind of emotion - i should have been because i get emotional almost every week at church. i guess one reason i was able to keep it together was because my thoughts were all over the place and impossible to focus. since matt stayed home with the sick boys, i took a few videos. here is madelyn (look for the mouse ears in the middle) doing motions to "God's girl" - it is long.

the generosity of others has been overwhelming too. i have had flights checked and priced, a car offered, extended childcare offers and even a private flight! so much to where "thank you" has lost its ability to capture my actual gratitude.

i had to renew my driver's license this week - partly because it is the law and partly because i wanted to be able to get on a plane if needed. i wasn't expecting a vision test and explained that i might not do very well since i had been crying for days and had literally stayed up the entire night before. talk about having to focus! i could hardly see peripherally and had to super concentrate to find the words for the numbers i was reading. thankfully, i passed and have one of the most unfortunate license pictures ever (actually, it isn't that bad because i was laughing trying to keep maddux and manning's heads out of the picture as they were climbing on me - but my eyes are nonexistent, just little slits in my swollen eye lids).

we had a crazy saturday scheduled which included me hosting our mops group for a service project (cleaning the trail), breakfast and a craft. i went ahead and canceled the mops event, mainly because the boys were just getting over being sick and secondly because i didn't feel like i had the mental capacity to host. but our morning was still busy. all three bigs had swimming lessons and then we had to split up the carseats so that matt could take mason and maddux to soccer practice and madelyn, manning and i could go to a mother/daughter tea at the library. maddux isn't on the soccer team, but since it was just a practice, we thought we could dress him to play and he could practice with the team. i guess they ended up scrimmaging and matt had to carry maddux on his shoulders while he coached so that maddux wouldn't be sitting on the sidelines unsupervised (i told him that he should have just asked on the team parents to keep an eye on him so that he didn't get up and leave from where matt told him to sit). so the splitting up didn't work out so great for matt, but madelyn, manning and i had a wonderful time!

we have been to several free programs at the library now and they are always nice, but this one was exceptionally nice. it was put on by the "friends of the library" and you could tell just from the set up that we were in for a nice morning. i felt bad about bringing manning since you really aren't supposed to bring siblings outside of the ages allowed, but we were a little stuck. he behaved better than he ever has before! the program lasted an hour and there was glass place settings and hot water for the tea - it could have been a disaster.

everyone got to make paper lanterns like the ones they had hanging throughout the room

a picture of my completed setting. apparently the tea set was donated by mrs. hoover years and years ago (like, hoover vacuums, mrs. hoover) and was super nice.

madelyn pointed out that the pineapple was like the sand at the beach which i had not noticed that they were all arranged the same way. i thought it was just a scoop of mixed fruit a first glance.

madelyn enjoying her pinwheel finger sandwiches and a chocolate eclair. she even drank her tea!

i shared with manning. i was a little disappointed when he chewed up and then spit out my entire eclair - i missed out!

when we got home, i realized that i was in such a fog that i didn't even acknowledge madelyn being selected "character champion" for this month! i congratulated her when she got home from school and we called daddy, but i didn't take a picture or call the grandparents. so here is a picture of our "character champion" - a day late.

maddux was really insistent on helping with dinner that night (polenta garden pizzas) so he helped me prep everything and after watching me make the first pizza, he made the second one all on his own (except for drizzling the olive oil - i did that part). he even used the rolling pin to roll out the crust. i was pretty impressed with how patient and attentive to the details he was the whole time. i might have a new sous chef.

yesterday, we finally went out to celebrate our "character champion" (and the kids cleaning up the entire basement of toys on their own!) with, her request, friendly's sundaes. we ordered manning a milkshake, but he was much more interested in sharing with matt and i! i think he ate more than i did! he was really going at it and matt was joking that he was going to start licking the cup.

today we were rewarded by browsing the baked goods on this rainy afternoon when we ran up to the grocery store to pick up one more ingredient for dinner. the kids all got to pick free cookies! (for my publix people, they aren't normally free here. you pay a dollar for a card that gets you like 10 cookies or something - punch card style. we have never bought them.) maddux really scored with an orange one!

when we got home, i went out to make our first harvest from the garden - asparagus! this is the first we have been able to eat. i guess with asparagus, you can't harvest it until the third year. we have been waiting patiently and were excited to have enough for a new recipe. we also got to pull out the last of our frozen pea pods from last summer's garden. all four kids took care of shelling the peas while i prepared everything else. it is nice to have actual help in the kitchen at dinner time!

and madelyn is planning on making us dinner this week with the cookbook she was given as a parting gift from the mother/daughter tea. it is a super nice junior betty crocker one and she is really excited. we will see how it goes!

so while i have wanted to just lay in bed, crying in a ball, life marches forward. i am thankful for my little ones to keep me moving. praying always. love.

where to start...?

i have been thinking about this post for a while because i thought writing might be therapeutic. i have been writing a lot this week. mainly facts, because that has been what is needed from me. but as i sit here trying to write the words just aren't coming the way i want them to...

tuesday, april 22nd at 6:24pm i got THE call (after missing attempts for the past hour while my phone was on vibrate). the one you never want to receive. it was my brother josh who was crying. my first thought was that it was about one of my parents. i had screaming kids all around me so i had to peel them off and lock myself in my room to be able to hear him. wyatt. pool. not going to make it. my legs literally gave out. wyatt was found by my other brother, his dad, in their swimming pool. it was a tragic accident.

i think i was in shock from that moment until yesterday morning when i seem to have regained some sense of presence. my body may have been here cleaning up vomit and listening to endless crying of a chorus of sick boys, but my heart, mind and soul were, and are, in gainesville with my family. even looking at manning was difficult to do without crying - he is only 4 months older than his cousin. and as i researched everything looking for optimism, i spent a sleepless night pleading with God to "help me overcome my unbelief!" (mark 9:24). i have just been fighting my rational and practical side - my faith is stronger. my God is stronger.

i have also been praying to have peace with my selfish need to be there with them. it just happened that my driver's license expired on my birthday and i got a notice the friday before "the call". i was actually going to renew it that morning but didn't want to risk the boys throwing up in a public place and put it off. between the license and the germs i couldn't, and was asked not to, come. but my heart longs to hug my little brother. but it is for me, so i am trying to accept that i have to be selfless and stay where i am and wait. i have been trying to help with communication to the rest of the extended family and even within my own family. i know that brad and abby have so much love and support with them that they don't really need me the way that i need to be with them. we are going soon, but i must have patience.

this is wyatt from the last time we were in florida and i got to hold him, almost a year ago.

and here is the last picture sent to me by his mommy - from around january.

wyatt was dead and he is alive. my emotions are still so raw and i am having trouble finding my words. i find that i am having trouble forming complete thoughts or answering simple questions. but i have not once asked "why?" my eyes are firmly on Jesus and His ability to heal wyatt to complete health.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." john 16:33

all the scriptures i have read and been changed by over my lifetime are flooding to me as a comfort. my heart is breaking over and over each day but my hope has not been lost and my faith has not wavered. 

wyatt is fighting, he is baffling his doctors. they look at his case and expect one thing and then examine him and find the impossible. we are so encouraged by the miracles God is doing in this middle of this storm. and the testimonies of others have been so encouraging! my mom equates it to peter walking on the water, he started to sink when he looked back at the boat and took his eyes off of Jesus. she said that she has realized through this that if someone else had gotten out and walked with him, he might not have lost faith. she feels like the thousands of people praying and believing for a complete healing for wyatt have stepped out of the boat and are helping us to keep walking on the water in faith.

if you are touched by the miracle happening right now, you can follow wyatt's story at http://shift-church.com/wyattupdate/ and share prayers, scriptures and words of encouragement for the family on facebook by posting to the Zachritz Family Prayer Group.  there has also been a fund created to collect resources for the inevitable hospital bills they will be facing; here is the link if you feel inclined to donate: https://shift-church.ccbchurch.com/trx_submit.php?type=public_gift (designate "Zachritz Family" to give to them specifically).

God is good, He is good. all the time He is good. love.

bundle of boys

the night was not as messy as i was expecting, but it wasn't restful. i got mason situated back in our bathroom after getting him showered off and stripped his bed without waking up the other two. maddux woke up a few times to go to the bathroom (he has been struggling with diarrhea instead of vomiting) and mason groaned in his sleep most of the night (so did matt). manning came into bed with me at some point and matt went to work around 5:30am - he still wasn't great but had to get in early because he hadn't been able to work all weekend. i think it was around 6am when maddux came in for me to take the lid off his cup so that he could refill it with water. while i was opening his cup, he threw up on himself. i guess i am up now.

everyone seems to be feeling a little better now. the boys were all snuggled on the couch watching cartoons while i got madelyn ready for school and off to the bus. i am just praying that there isn't a phone call to come and get her (i still need to put mason's carseat back together).

so madelyn and i are the hold outs. please let us be spared. love.

easter morning!

yesterday after soccer, we went home where i raced to bake an apple pie for a dinner one of matt's co-workers had invited us to at their house. we had a great time and their kids had even arranged for an easter egg hunt for our kids. there was lots of playing, conversation and fun. about five minutes into the 30 minute interstate ride home, mason threw up. a lot. um, that's not good. we were hoping that it was just that he had eaten so much candy today, had a huge hot dog at dinner and run all over. nope. he threw up again when we got home while matt was working on cleaning up the van and i was trying to get everyone showered and in bed. 

so i got him all set up to sleep in our bathroom and had him close his eyes while i pulled all of the easter baskets and fillings out of my closet. i actually bought most of the items while the kids were with me (but really, when am i ever without at least one child?), madelyn even picked out two of hers. 

madelyn's

mason's 

maddux'

manning's

mericifully, there was no more throwing up during the night and all four kids slept until after 6:30am! this is the first time in months that manning hasn't come and gotten into bed with me between 3:30 and 6. i felt more rested than i have in a long time - the perfect way to feel on easter morning! and it was going to be a glorious day weather-wise too.

the kids dug into their baskets while i was still in the shower and matt was still in bed. there was a problem when i came out though because manning liked maddux' basket better than his and when i switched them, he refused to accept his and pushed it across the table with a "no!". but after a few minutes he came around and took a look at what he had.

checking out their loot.

we were already planning on matt staying home with mason. then matt woke up not feeling so great himself. uh-oh. then manning had a diarrhea diaper that went all the way up his back and needed a bath. so i guess it was just going to be madelyn, maddux and i for easter services. well, maddux made it as far as getting dressed before his stomach was hurting so much that he was crying. the mean mom that i am, i asked him to let me at least take his picture before he changed for staying home. he was just too cute.

he even agreed to take one with me. 

so it was just madelyn and i for church this easter. there weren't children's classes this week except for 3-year-olds and younger which means that madelyn got to hang out with me in the 2 and 3-year-old hallway for the first (really second today) service. we had a pretty normal attendance and heard that there were a lot of the 3-year-olds in service with their families. i was down a teacher but had a new family volunteer so we were covered but it was still a little hectic.

then it was our turn to go to service. we normally attend the latest service and it might be a quarter full (most people have bible studies during second service and attend first service), anyway, today it was full to over flowing! the earlier two services had been full and needed overflow accommodations too. it was such a great service. they used this telling of the easter story for the kids: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlPDqwBYF4o. it is really cute and got great response during service.

one drawback of a full service was that it took us 20 minutes to get out of the parking lot!

once we got home we learned that daddy had gotten sick and the boys were doing pretty well (and eating everything because daddy was in bed). since i was so well rested (hooray) the kids and i went outside and kept very busy while daddy got some rest. we even got a little bit of a sunburn! we came in to make an afternoon snack of "resurrection rolls." we used crescents this year and they didn't work out as well as the biscuits did last year, but they were super tasty and the kids loved that the marshmallows were 'gone' just like jesus from the tomb.

the beautiful weather more than made up for the sickness in the house. we were able to play outside and open the windows for some fresh air. it was so warm that maddux and mason took their shirts off and maddux tried to go 'swimming' in the little water running down the driveway from the water table.

it was such a relaxing day at home celebrating that jesus is alive!

and then mason threw-up again after he went to bed. sigh. i guess we get to stay home tomorrow too. love.

first soccer practice of the season

straight from the easter egg hunt, we headed over to the soccer fields to eat some packed lunch. we might have had enough time to eat at home, but the fewer times we have to get in and out of the car, the less likely we are to be late. and we had a lovely surprise because one of madelyn's best friends was practicing before us on mason's field (we actually knew quite a few of the kids on the field from mops). ella goes to our church and her family just moved to a new house very close to us. madelyn was very happy to see her! (i was so bummed that the picture came out blurry.)

madelyn chose not to play soccer this season. i think she was a little sad not to be playing though because she wore a yellow shirt (like mason's team color today) and wanted to be on the field to 'help' daddy coach. the kindergarten league has practices the first two saturdays and then games for the rest of the season.

monkey see, monkey do.

it was pretty cold at the fields so maddux and i were snuggling up under a blanket together. pictures just help pass the time.

notice madelyn's "anna braids." at least that was my sales pitch for putting her hair back today since we were going to be outside in the wind for so long - her hair would have been a giant knot by the time we got home.

manning and maddux were both trying to lay down under the top blanket to keep warm (maddux sat up right when i took the picture).

mason seems a little more capable on the field this season. but his team is not quite as stacked as it was last season (ella's team is dramatically larger than our team and one of the other teams that was practicing with them). we did discover that one of the girls on the team is in mason's sunday school class and her mom is on the vbs committee with me. i love that we are starting to know more people!

during practice i realized that when maddux is old enough, the boys will be able to play on the same team for the next two years! that is going to make scheduling saturday mornings during soccer season SO much easier! love.

the last easter egg hunt

we have been to two (three if you count the preschool parties) egg hunts this year, but this was going to be madelyn's first. and she was ready! it was a community egg hunt that was close enough to walk (matt and mason ran/walked but the rest of us drove because it would be tight getting to soccer afterwards if we didn't have the car). the day was forecast to be warm so we all wore shorts. it was not warm enough for that. we were fine for the first hour or so but then we started to get cold. oh well.

the morning started with some bunny ear hats and face painting. mason's was super cute!

and then we went outside to maddux' hunt location. this was the first egg hunt we have done that is segregated by age. manning wasn't old enough to participate, but he didn't mind like i thought he might. the older three were each in different age brackets separated by 15 minutes so we had plenty of time to enjoy each hunt.

maddux was ready to go!

at first we weren't sure what maddux was doing when he jumped over the eggs at his feet and ran straight for the middle of the area. but then we realized he had a great strategy and came back with a very full basket!

mason was next. his strategy was to just stay low to the ground and get as many as he could. i don't think he stood completely up until it was over.

the kids were enjoying the goldfish that filled several of maddux' eggs while we waited.

another full basket...

mason was the only one willing to take a picture with the easter bunny.

and finally madelyn got to have her turn! it was killing her to have to wait and be last (there was one more older group that went after she did but she was the last one in our family - the oldest group hunts on a wooded hillside).

she took a little of maddux' strategy heading to the middle but she just couldn't pass up the eggs she was stepping over. i loved that mason was cheering her on.

another loaded basket!

we were asked to empty and return all of the eggs for next year. that was fine except that most of the eggs were taped shut in a way that was almost impossible to open! what i thought was neat was that the treats inside were suited for each age group (maddux' had a lot of goldfish cracker filled eggs while madelyn's had a lot of harry london chocolates).

the kids reliving the 'hunts' and their winnings together on the way to the car.

this was such a nice community event and we will definitely sign up for next year's hunt! but now it was time to get to soccer. love.