precedent

my heart has been heavy about this for a while (like losing sleep), so i thought that i would write about it.

when i see things that parents share about their kids on social media (both with words and photos), i wonder if we always consider the precedent being set?  i wonder how many of us are going to be shocked with some of the things our kids then choose to share as teenagers and wonder where they would learn to do that?

while a picture of your child making a 'kiss-y' face in a down shot selfie might be innocent and silly, it is also the universal "come and get it" or "i'm hot" pose of single (and some not so single) women everywhere.  why does that need to be shared with everyone we know?  what does that tell them about our children?  do we want them to think of our children in a "come and get it" way?  and what does it teach our children about the boundaries of what is appropriate to share in the future?  i feel many of us wouldn't like our teenager doing something like that (just watch the evening news) and yet we are doing it with our five year olds (again, watch the news).

and this is just one example.  in general, it is imposing adult things/poses/activities on children because it is "cute".

maybe it is just me.  i do have the vantage point of someone who has been told by more than one person that church can be the most difficult place to take husbands battling pornography addictions because of all the cleavage on display.  i have also seen that the top search phrase bringing traffic to this blog is some version of "kids in a tub".  so many searches that i have now removed that innocent (and totally nudity free) post because i don't want anyone looking at my kids after that search.  i think this knowledge has opened my eyes - what is intended as innocent is not always received as innocent.

i really try not to judge other parents because we all have different values and goals which shape our decisions and actions - 'right' and 'wrong' - and i do not mean this post as judgement in any way.  and let's face it, parenting is hard enough without pressures from others implying that we are doing a bad job!  we all just have to do what is best for our families.  i am just wondering if we always give the things that shape our children enough thought?  myself included!

so to my children (after all this blog is my "love letter" to them),

i don't want you to grow up too quickly.  not because i want to keep you a baby longer than you actually are, but because i don't want you to have to deal with consequences you aren't ready for - and shouldn't be ready for.

with all my love,
mom

i don't write this post to make anyone change what they think is okay for their children/families.  i don't write this to make anyone feel bad about what they have posted about their children.  because, believe me, i know that i am very far from perfect.  i only post this to put my thoughts out there so that i might be able to sleep at night.

love.