girl drama

a few weeks ago, while speaking with madelyn at bedtime, she revealed that she was having a difficult time with some friends at school. it was really heartbreaking because she shared that she hadn't told me because "it makes me too sad to talk about it." before readers get too concerned, this conversation was late at night on a day where she was very tired - the tears came easily. and the hardship was that she didn't want to say the scripted play lines during recess resulting in not being welcomed to play with the girls who were controlling who said what during their play acting. given madelyn's tendency towards being dramatic and that i know how she reacts when her brothers don't play the way she wants them to, i shared this account with matt and we agreed to wait until the scheduled parent/teacher conferences in a few weeks. (she didn't want to get her friends in trouble, still loves school and hates having even weekends off and her grades are not suffering at all.)

and then i went to the cosi assembly.

one of the other parents told me that her daughter told her that "school was very sad" and that "all of the kids are being mean to madelyn." so maybe it wasn't just madelyn's perception after all.

the main problem seems to be "indoor recess" because instead of mingling with other classes, they were limited to their own classmates so there was no break from each other during the day.

i contacted her teacher and then had another conversation with madelyn.

madelyn showed a maturity that i would not, even now. she had confronted the girls hurting her feelings individually, "i don't want to be rude but when you do this, you hurt my feelings." her statement was met with apologies and promises not to do so in the future. and then she pointed out that her class had worked on how they were leaders. some were identified as "problem solvers" and she wanted to speak with one of them before i became involved. (she had asked me not to contact her teacher, but i wanted to make sure her teacher was aware because of other stories madelyn had told me about the main girl regarding other of her friends - there was a pattern.) she wanted to handle the situation herself and it appears that she has! she really wants to repair the relationship with the offending girls and sounds like she is well on her way.

madelyn and i did speak about some new approaches to recess - choosing a different person every day to play with (maybe others felt left out too), try new activities, etc.

i will still meet with her teacher in a few weeks but do not feel that there is an immediate need. i am so proud of how madelyn has handled this situation and glad that she felt she could share her hurts with me. love.