the big game

the day madelyn has been waiting for has finally arrived - her first soccer game!  she had team pictures before the game and that was a little chaotic.  especially since her coach wasn't there again and most of the team wasn't at practice the week before.  we were finally told where to go (there were about 6 photo stations running because there are so many teams).  the most frustrating part was wrestling her into her cleats only to be told that she couldn't wear them for the pictures!

after pictures we headed outside for the first time to play/watch her first game.

maddux ready to cheer

one of the parents had volunteered to 'coach'.  but no one had bothered to tell the kids which goal was theirs, what the whistle meant, that they didn't need to 'wait their turn' to kick the ball, etc. 

they had never done anything at practice except learn kicking form/technique and to stand in line and kick into the goal when it was their turn.  it was obvious who had older siblings who had played soccer and who didn't...

the boys waiting for the game to start

when the whistle blew, madelyn didn't know that the game had started.  all she knew was that the 'coach' had told her to stand right there.  and she did.  (she is in the blue off on the left of the picture.)  as much as i don't want to be the parent coaching from the sideline, i had to yell for her to 'go get the ball'.  she was just looking our direction helplessly.  plus, she is SO my daughter.  she is so much like me that i knew that she was feeling overwhelmed by not knowing the 'rules' or what was expected of her.  she wants to be the best and needs to know the parameters for achieving that.  she did know that she needed to get the ball into the goal, but didn't know how to accomplish that and started to cry.

she is on the right side of the video - with pig tails.  you can see her look at us to find out what to do (this was right when the game started before she subbed out).

when she subbed out, matt and i asked her if she knew what to do and she said, "no", so we tried to tell her what the 'rules' were and what she needed to do.  she felt a little bit better about what she needed to do to play and when the second quarter started she did her best to get to the ball.  she even got a few kicks in. 

and then she fell and got her hand stepped on by a cleat.  again she was subbed out and crying.  she didn't want to go back in, but matt and i encouraged her to 'keep practicing' (this is our standard line for anything she can't do the first time; we also remind her of other things she had to practice before she could do).  she wasn't totally convinced, and was still crying, but she went back in at the next quarter.  and got hit in the same hand with the ball from a pretty hard kick.  fresh wailing and left the game once more.

cheering on the blue team (it was totally subconscious that all of the boys were wearing the team color).  the boys were fantastic about watching the game and staying off the field - way better than i had even hoped!

at this point she never wanted to play soccer again.  we spoke with her about commitment to her team and more 'practice' explanations.  she never stopped crying, but she ran after the ball and finished the game. 

madelyn crying on the field

i was so proud of her for finishing the game and for hustling after the ball through her tears - she never gave up and stopped playing.  she said that she was upset about not getting to score a goal, but it wasn't a 'can't play on a team' thing, it was more about not getting a 'turn' like in practice. 

i felt a little like the 'mean parent' for making her go back again and again.  we just told her to "put her crying away" (another catch phrase around here for non-essential crying) and hustle after the ball.  here is some video of how the game was going for her... (please notice that i am trying not to laugh.)

after the game there was a snack and that perked her right up.  by the time we had finished running a few errands, she was looking forward to practicing for next week's game.

i think most of the tears were tired tears since maddux had woken up everyone but mason at 4am.  i don't think madelyn got much sleep after that because she was up and playing at 5:30am when i told her to go back to bed.

it can only get better.  she has agreed to finish out the season (we spoke about commitment to her team) and if she doesn't want to sign up again next year, she doesn't have to.  matt and i have also been working with her on what to expect and how a soccer game works so that she won't be so 'lost' next time.  fingers crossed... love.