don't have kids

so i am pretty sure that we convinced some people to never have kids, or at least not to have any more. 

we stayed home yesterday (so i could keep doing laundry) and today i was organized enough to run some errands.  on the agenda were target, babies r us, bed bath & beyond and bjs.  we got up and got out because mornings are the most predictable - after lunch you never know what you are going to get (tired, crabby, napping, hyper, etc.).

the kids did great for the first three stores.  they had each picked a "suck-up" snack (purees in a pouch) at babies r us because we were getting close to lunch time and i wanted to nurse manning before going into bjs.  so i put on a dvd for the older three while they had their snack (madelyn was shocked that i was breaking the eating in the van rule and i told her it was okay because we were not driving) and nursed manning in the van.  then we headed to bjs.

they weren't bad.  in fact they started out great and i had comments to that effect.  then the residual tiredness from the trip and a late night at vbs started to sneak in - it effects mason the most.  i have often said how easy going and pleasant mason is - and he is - unless he is tired.  when mason is tired his body and brain seem to separate and operate independently.  he also becomes very whiny.  this makes it extremely difficult to discipline him too.

so mason and maddux climbed up on a pallet of napkins while i was trying to pick out tissues (figuring best value with which coupon - and i wasn't fast either because my brain is sleep deprived).  i asked them not too and maddux got down.  i asked mason if he was being a good listener.  that was about when he started to loose it.  "i am a good listener! i am not climbing on it." he said with a whine and cry while still on the pallet.  after i touched his hand to show him that it was on the napkins with the rest of him, he said "okay" and got off the pallet.  so i picked up the pace a little bit because i knew i was loosing him.  a few minutes later he was touching something.  when i asked him to stop he exclaimed, "i am not touching it", as he was still holding it with both hands.  and after this conversation he never could put his whining away - even as he whined that he had put the whining away.

when checking out i always go to the self-checkout so that i don't have to switch carts (don't you hate how stores do that!).  i keep the kids occupied by letting them scan everything and put it on the belt; it takes longer but no one wanders off.  because mason couldn't function, he kept leaning on the scale mechanism which made the item get credited back and need to be re rung so i had to remove him from helping which set him off crying.  madelyn was starting to cry because she couldn't reach the one, specific item in the cart she wanted to swipe. maddux couldn't reach anything so he was going to the end of the belt and bringing back things we had already scanned.  and manning was screaming because the kids had bumped the cart which jarred him awake out of a deep sleep.  ugh!

i felt like that frazzled mom, which typically i am not.  i find that it happens when i am hot and i felt very hot in the store and just wanted to go home.  i don't think it helped that i was hungry too (i got everyone a snack except for me - and i have almonds in my bag for that very reason).  an employee came to help me put things back into the cart so that i could finish and leave.

when we got into the parking lot a man came up to ask if he could help me load up and i told him that i was fine (and i was, everyone was already in the car and had stopped crying).  he said that he and the lady in front of him had been watching us and talking about how they didn't envy me.  apparently she had said something along the lines of you wouldn't give one up for a million dollars but you wouldn't give a nickel for another. 

oh well.  at least we make others grateful for their own lives. and he is right, i wouldn't trade it for anything - even on a rough day. love.