the six month wall

you would think that by our fourth child, i would know what is coming next.  but, no, most things are like a surprise each time.  today i hit what i like to call my "six month wall".  this has happened around the six-month mark after each baby but i am always blindsided by it.  i was pretty much in tears by the time matt got home from work.  and it wasn't like today was really any more difficult than any other day either.  yes, maddux was a little more destructive than normal, but nothing to push me over the edge.

it is basically the time post baby that the lack of sleep, steady flow of house guests, constant illnesses and the general over-achieverness i put on myself finally makes me break emotionally.  being a mom is hard work.  and there is never, ever a break.  never. 

it didn't help that i had a migraine and couldn't find the bottle of plain tylenol that i keep in my diaper bag for such an occasion (later i learned that my husband borrowed it and put it in his own spot instead of anywhere i would have been able to find it).  for those that don't know, when pregnant and nursing you are kind of limited on the medications you can take.  if i catch a migraine early with the plain version, i can remain functional until i can go to sleep - which is why i keep the tylenol in my diaper bag.  anyway, that migraine didn't help at all.

so when matt got home i just told him (in a creepy calm way) to change his clothes and take over.  i was in the middle of making dinner (and again i can't just do something simple when i don't feel well, i was breading and frying fish and making coleslaw - it was delicious by the way) and manning was crying because he wanted to be held (i had already nursed him, fed him solids and changed him - there was nothing wrong with him) and i think maddux was crying too.  no, he was asleep on his bed after i sent him to his room for disobedience for maybe the tenth time that afternoon.

so i had a cry while i cleaned the kitchen and matt took care of the kids.  manning seriously fell asleep in matt's arms in about 30 seconds!

my point?  i am not "super mom".  some days are crazy hard.  but they are way outnumbered by the great ones!  love.